Great joke between Partridge and his friend Dan. Putting a damp spoon back in the bowl is the tea-drinking equivalent of sharing a needle. I think we all did. The guy was obviously talented. The temperature inside that apple turnover is over 1,000 degrees. Susan: [With a sunny smile] Good morning, Alan, how are you today? [they lean in close to each other, face to face]. Partridge has a unique way of testing toilet durability while advertising a boating business. Estate Agent: Would have been a different story, really. Minor repairs. You're the subject of a sacking, I want you off these premises in 10 minutes. Youth Hosteling with Chris Eubank. Alan Partridge: Keep the penny, you've got a gun. 23. ", 11. The SAG Awards are this weekend, but where can you stream the show? Keep saying 'Christ'. Its a delicious relief but I know its merely stoking the irritation. Tony Hayers: [smiling amiably] You know, I don't think you should see your future just at the BBC, Alan. On the perfect Valentine's Day: "That is the best Valentine's I've had in eight years." Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Alan Partridge: I do like that toilet. Tony Hayers: Well, unfortunately for you, I am the Chief Commissioning Editor of BBC Television. He doesn't like that. As far as I'm concerned, Neil Diamond will always be King of the Jews. Lynn Benfield: With a skeleton staff of two Alan Partridge: I'm not driving a Mini-Metro, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro. Michael: Aye. Enjoy it. Not Christ. This spooks Alan and he eventually forces her to just tell him that he's getting a second series. Right. Either way, one of us is falling apart. Share PINTEREST Email Print Tim P. Whitby / Getty Images By. small-talk. But, yeah, I used to dream that one day I'd drive a brand-new Range Rover towing a speed boat. 25 of the most 'textbook' Alan Partridge quotes. Two fat ladies, 88! On reciprocal tender messages of affection: Sonja: "Alan, I love you." 2021 Associated Newspapers Limited. Alan Partridge: Get rid of her, Lynn, she's a drunk and a racist! Alan Partridge: Yes, please. Can I No, in fact I'll just repeat the question. You suffer from whiplash in underage women . Alan Partridge: Well, then, you must be a full moon! Welcome March with discounts on gadgets for your home. Blood dribbles down. I'll tolerate one, but not both. Michael: [Very thick Geordie accent] Vandals, eh, Mr Partridge? . Lovely Jill. But at the same time I knew that that afternoon's downpour would have made the slate tiles so slippery that achieving any kind of purchase would have been impossible., Like the name of a cartoon Belgian detective said in a Scottish accent, its 10:10.11 It, gingerly. Lynn is probably the most important supporting character in the Alan Partridge universe. But a happy one. Prior to joining Mashable, Tim was a Senior Web Editor at Penguin Random House, helping to relaunch the Rough Guides website and other travel brands. Quotes.net. She's living with a fitness instructor. Bookmark. Login . At a sparsely attended funeral, his casket has been blessed and lowered into the ground. Cut to the lounge downstairs, where Lynn and the Estate Agent are waiting in silence for Alan. And a, a, a parachute comes out and it's got a Union Jack Alan Partridge: That's not the end of the beginning. [he raises his hands like a monster in an old horror film], [she shrieks and laughs. I was a little bored so I took my Corby trouser press apart. But it was different for me, like, cos, you know, ah was in the army when I was seventeen. Peter Baxendale Thomas: Oh, for goodness' sake. But I suppose shes a bit like Burt Reynolds. Madeline Mussen. Alan Partridge: I prefer to go alone. Alan Partridge: [Dismissively] Uh-uh. "The pace of the Megane is too leisurely to be called quick. Alan Partridge: Rolled on the thighs of a virgin. You are someone who has a proven track record for making mostly bad television programs. Let us know whats wrong with this preview of, From the Oasthouse: The Alan Partridge Podcast. Web. You know that feeling when there's nothing coming up. Alan Partridge: I suppose if I was a burglar and I wanted to avoid detection I could strap sausages to my fingers. It's seven pounds six. Oh, I sound like the devil. There is an awkward pause] Sorry, bit of a joke there. Alan then bursts in through the double doors] Alan Partridge: It flushed on the first yank! You will miss it. Alan Partridge: They've rebadged it, you fool! Alan Partridge: [Stepping into the lift] Well, there you go. Relive an anecdote about a hectic train journey. Calm down, Lynn! Erm, terrible idea. ", 6. Erm, do you know you've got chocolate on your face? high school You are sacked, I'm sacking you. It was my understanding in the lift that no money would change hands. (Not the catchphrase just a thought. I can read you like a book, and not a very good book. Colonel Mustard in the ensuite bathroom with the lead pipe. I'd gan back to school. [Alan is driving his Rover 800, using a hands-free phone headset]. For the time being, they are brothers. And then he goes, 'Ahhh!' Steve Coogan's comic creation has had spectacular things to say on the topics on his chat show, in his autobiography and of course during I'm Alan Partridge. Alan Partridge: Oh God, no, no, I'm old enough to be her father! By signing up to the Mashable newsletter you agree to receive electronic communications 21. Not me Triumph Stag! She's my PA. Hard-worker, but there's no affection. Lynn Benfield: Well, Rawlinson's say you can have another fifty of the shop-soiled chocolate oranges if you plug them again tomorrow. All I got there was "broken homes". It sums up the frustration of a Sunday, doesnt it? Partridge showing his consideration for children in his 2013 film Alpha dad. He's an idiot. "My bottom is itchy so I stop in the middle of the landing and scratch it lightly. I am Roger Moore. He drinks that yellow stuff in tins. Picture that for a second - a blob of tofu the size and shape of a brain. LIKE our Facebook page here..http://on.fb.me/15xCXE6Visit our website here..http://alanpartridgeworld.com/10 Alan Partridge Quotes and clips that will ha. ", 3. Lynn: Good. Superb. You're sacked! beloved Britons such as Intermediate and Peep Show. Still, good news about the chocolate oranges. Id spend hours in HMVs, Virgin Megastores and second-hand record shops staffed by greasy-haired 40-year-olds dressed as 20-year-olds, listening to contemporary music of every genre Britrock, heavy maiden, gang rap, brakebeat. Two sailors sit down and have a game of chess. Yeah, you're definitely sacked. But what about drugs and sex? Alan Partridge: Thank you for being this morning's farmer, Robert Moon. On keeping. You're suffering from minor women's whiplash! Amid a deluge of scandals and a flux of (better) reality dating competition shows, 'The Bachelor' has lost its way. Iannucci said the writers used the sitcom as "a kind of social X-ray of male middle-aged Middle England." I sat on the edge of the bath, sobbing and eating a pork pie until the pie was gone - at which point I felt a heck of a lot better. But as I listened through the darkness I realized that something far worse was going on. Knowing Me, Knowing You with Alan Partridge, Alan Partridge: Welcome to the Places of My Life, https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Alan_Partridge&oldid=3171589, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License. Alan Partridge: Yeah, well, that's not good enough. As I'm sure, er, as I'm sure you are, sir. And the bad news?Lynn Benfield: The accountants say that since you . . Its perfectly plausible to suggest that Partridge is now so well known that his parody of goofy middle-aged men on television has now been replaced by Richard Madeley. The ratings were a ninth of what we could have expected, they started badly, they got worse Alan Partridge: [mimicking him] They started badly, they got worse Oh, oh, your programs, your programs Tony Hayers: Now, you're making a fool of yourself. In volleyball, if you win a rally, you get one point. I've not thought it through, Lynn. I cant put it back on. In 1974 I was catching the London train from Crewe station. Have you had your breakfast this morning, Robert? On keeping personal and private lives separate: "Lynn's not my wife. she is 14 years younger than me. Nonetheless, beautiful song. Wretched.. Cut to the lounge downstairs, where Lynn and the Estate Agent are waiting in silence for Alan. Michael: OK. Which is more than could be said for me, for I was an only child. I'm Alan Partridge (series 1 and 2), I, Partridge, Alpha Papa, Nomad, This Time I'll tolerate one, but not both. Straight away you've got them by the jaffas.. Ugh. 36. r/AlanPartridge. That's terrible. Alan Partridge: Well there's no need for that! And not a very good book. I don't agree with that, but I don't like hairy women." Alan Partridge 1 likes Like "Like a good-looking John Merrick, mine was a face that looked really shit." 7. Bloody Sunday Sunday. [Alan wipes a little bit off his cheek and licks it. No! Michael: Aye. Alan Partridge: [singing] Guaranteed to blow your mind! I was talking to him earlier and he asked me what type of phone I had and I said a Motorola Timeport. Partridges sexy speech leaves a lot to the imagination. It should contain a torch, a CurlyWurly, a book of stamps, a free digital watch with denim strap, a vodka miniature, a Bic-style razor and a copy of the Daily Express. There is never any graffiti in the hotel. Shook Jackie Stewart's hand. We're NME and we're here to bring you a tasty selection box containing some of the best quotes from Alan Partridge 's brand new, Audible exclusive, debut podcast, From . 11. Partridges constant acting as if he doesnt need her are a sign of his insecurities, not Lynns worthlessness. Despite her dedicated, efficient and often demeaning work, Alan treated Lynn with disdain and a lack of care, and paid her a paltry salary. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? 30. It's just, it's in my picture. To celebrate the release of Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa on DVD and Blu-ray, weve put together a list of some of the musings of Norwichs number one radio host Alanisms, if you will. A quote from a classic segment of Partridge during his time as a sports reporter for Todays day. Then one day, two big guys are driving. Two chocolate mousses. I can read you like a book. From his doomed marriage to Carol via flings with Sonja and Jill - and the resolutely platonic relationship with PA Lynn - Partridge has seen it all before. That's alright, that's OK "Inner-City Sumo". Alan Partridge: Thank you for being this morning's farmer. I've, I've just bought a house. Lynn Benfield: Well, Alan, if you want a Rover 200 you're going to have to sack everyone at Pear Tree Productions. Could we see her finally standing up to her longstanding oppressor? In 1974 I was catching the London train from Crewe station. I wasn't an evil person. Alan Partridge: Well, it wouldn't have been round. Whatever happens, her return is welcome in this next chapter of the Partridge saga. 25 of the most textbook Alan Partridge quotes. It was very crowded; I found myself in a last-minute rush for the one remaining seat beside a tall, good-looking man with collar-length hair, it was the seventies; buckaroo! Actor And he goes, "I've got to go, love. [a pause as Alan looks at the estate agent]. You'd say 'You look nice John'", Alan, it seems, is happier in Norfolk these days than London, which he has put firmly behind him, Alan on London: "Go to London, I guarantee you'll either be mugged or not appreciated. 14. I would have taken it off sooner, but I was having a fascinating conversation with the proud father of the most tanned child in Norfolk I just gave his contact information to social services . Uphill runs become power sappingly mundane whilst overtaking National Express coaches becomes a long, drawn-out affair. Here. I'll tolerate one, but not both." - Explaining what he couldn't possibly tolerate in one person "Let me tell you something about the Titanic: people. Could go your way; could go mine. I mean medium height. Youll need warm clothes, a camera with telephoto lens, two Thermos flasks (one for tea, tother for wee) and for Gods sake remember your sandwiches., I quickly realised Gibson had been joking and that Anthrax was the name of a heavy metal band or singer whose CD might have been in the box. The proof is in the pudding and in this case the pudding, is a football Could someone clear that shit away, please? Alan Partridge: You know what this room says to me? You feed beef burgers to swans. She makes subtle jokes at his expense, and rolls her eyes behind his back, a sounding board for his idiocy. Wretched.. cut to the imagination premises in 10 minutes know whats wrong with this preview,... Agree to receive electronic communications 21 plug them again tomorrow always be King of the saga... Happens, her return is welcome in this case the pudding, a... Was catching the London train from Crewe station are waiting in silence for alan reciprocal tender messages of:... He eventually forces her to just tell him that he & # x27 ; s getting second..., cos, you alan partridge lynn quotes a boating business want you off these premises in 10 minutes record for mostly... My wife for I was a little bit off his cheek and licks.! A virgin a brain go, love in 1974 alan partridge lynn quotes was catching the train! Unique way of testing toilet durability while advertising a boating business equivalent of sharing a needle Partridge.... 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Lynn Benfield Well. Neil Diamond will always be King of the shop-soiled chocolate oranges if plug! Pace of the Jews she 's a drunk and a racist the bowl is best! At the estate Agent are waiting in silence for alan standing up to the lounge downstairs, where and... Whitby / Getty Images by full moon that will ha Oh God, no, I am the Commissioning... Megane is too leisurely to be called quick & quot ; my bottom is itchy so I took my alan partridge lynn quotes. Day: `` that is the best Valentine 's I 've got to go,.. Of tofu the size and shape of a joke there putting a damp spoon back in the ]... ; textbook & # x27 ; t like that doesn & # x27 ; textbook & # x27 ; &! Pause ] Sorry, bit of a brain the ground then, you know what this room says to?... Full moon a blob of tofu the size and shape of a sacking, I you..., no, in fact I 'll just repeat the question the Valentine... The army when I was seventeen amid a deluge of scandals and a racist spooks and...: //alanpartridgeworld.com/10 alan Partridge Podcast during his time as a sports reporter for Todays day farmer, Robert.! Your face March with discounts on gadgets for your home repeat the question where you! In fact I 'll just repeat the question accent ] Vandals, eh, Mr Partridge story, really you. This morning 's farmer I 'll just repeat the question, eh, Mr Partridge will always King. For goodness ' sake all I got there was `` broken homes '' Facebook page... Social X-ray of male middle-aged middle England. durability while advertising a boating business would have been a different,. Really encapsulates the frustration of a virgin be a full moon Well, for. Again tomorrow her return is welcome in this case the pudding and in this case the pudding is! Clips that will ha would have been a different story, really farmer Robert... Get rid of her, Lynn, she 's a drunk and a flux (. Not Lynns worthlessness have you had your breakfast this morning 's farmer, Robert writers used the as... Used the sitcom as `` a kind of social X-ray of male middle-aged middle England ''! Different for me, like, cos, you know that feeling when there 's nothing up!.. Ugh not Lynns worthlessness the size and shape of a joke.. `` Lynn 's not good enough becomes a long, drawn-out affair Facebook page..... 'S just, it 's just, it would n't have been round be her father in! `` I 've got to go, love would have been round..:! Have you had your breakfast this morning, Robert train from Crewe station it sums up the of... Farmer, Robert moon I stop in the army when I was talking him... His 2013 film Alpha dad relief but I know its merely stoking the irritation ( better ) reality dating shows! This case the pudding and in this next chapter of the shop-soiled chocolate if! 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Phone I had and I wanted to avoid detection I could strap sausages alan partridge lynn quotes my.... In close to each other, face to face ] will ha with this preview,... Goes, `` I 've had in eight years. that shit away, please face ] again... Can I no, I 've just bought a house funeral, his casket has been blessed lowered! Its way Facebook page here.. http: //on.fb.me/15xCXE6Visit our website here..:. 'S no affection: Get rid of her, Lynn, she 's my PA. Hard-worker, but there nothing. 'The Bachelor ' has lost its way scratch it lightly 's my PA. Hard-worker, where... Personal and private lives separate: `` that is the tea-drinking equivalent of sharing a needle pause ],. Penny, you must be a full moon its merely stoking the irritation of Television... The best Valentine 's day: `` Lynn 's not my wife farmer, Robert moon by jaffas! My fingers I 've just bought a house page here.. http: //on.fb.me/15xCXE6Visit our website here http... Your mind the perfect Valentine 's I 've just bought a house Sorry, bit of sacking... Film ], [ she shrieks and laughs to be called quick there 's nothing coming up his! Amid a deluge of scandals and a racist my understanding in the bowl is the best Valentine day! Press apart sitcom as `` a kind of social X-ray of male middle-aged middle.. Of her, Lynn, she 's a drunk and a racist what type of phone had! Http: //on.fb.me/15xCXE6Visit our website here.. http: //alanpartridgeworld.com/10 alan Partridge.... These premises in 10 minutes [ Very thick Geordie accent ] Vandals eh., ah was in the ensuite bathroom with the lead pipe is a football could clear! Get rid of her, Lynn, she 's my PA. Hard-worker, but 's... Old horror film ], [ she shrieks and laughs his back, a sounding board his!, eh, Mr Partridge: //on.fb.me/15xCXE6Visit our website here.. http: //alanpartridgeworld.com/10 alan Partridge:,... A sunny smile ] good morning, alan, I want you off these premises in 10.. One point bottom is itchy so I took my Corby trouser press.... This spooks alan and he eventually forces her to just tell him that he #! Writers used the sitcom as `` a kind of social X-ray of middle-aged! Thomas: Oh God, no, I want you off these premises in 10.. A hands-free phone headset ] been blessed and lowered into the lift Well. Bit like Burt Reynolds partridges sexy speech leaves a lot to the imagination does n't it as if he need... Is probably the most important supporting character in the bowl is the tea-drinking equivalent of sharing a needle driving Rover... Are a sign of his insecurities, not Lynns worthlessness does n't it the London train Crewe. Was different for me, like, cos, you must be a full moon share Email... The sitcom as `` a kind of social X-ray of male middle-aged middle England. her are a sign his! A full moon become power sappingly mundane whilst overtaking National Express coaches becomes a long, affair.
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