It implies that the other person is being melodramatic or otherwise emotionally unstable, thus invalidating anything they have to say. In general, it's not a great idea to touch people who aren't family members or close friends. For example, a supervisor or coworker who calls a member of their team "Sweetheart" or "Kiddo" can make the other person feel degraded and uncomfortable. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. ManageBetter, with its library of 3,000 feedback phrases, might be a resource you want to check out. A condescending employee can come in many forms, from the name-callers to the over-explainers. Consider following these steps when presented with such a scenario: 1. MANAGER: Do you think it was necessary to correct him in the middle of his talk? We touched upon how people who condescend toward others tend to be fiercely insecure. Don't just listen, but actively listen to what the person is saying. Be sure to read Lynnes books on how to handle tough conversations. Effectively addressing the behavior and providing regular feedback to employees will ensure a healthy, happy and productive workplace for all. Rather than approaching the conversation in a combative way, use the conversation as an opportunity to educate your boss about how you prefer to be addressed in a professional environment. Firstly, it implies that you arent worth listening to and dont deserve respect. Examples of condescending behavior: Much like the remarks listed above, the behaviors below show up often when people are interacting with one another in person. Do it in a gentle and respectful way, using "I" statements. document.getElementById( "ak_js_3" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); document.getElementById( "ak_js_4" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Privacy Policy | Terms & Conditions What does condescending or patronising behaviour look like in the workplace? This expands upon the previous example, because it usually involves interrupting someone mid-sentence. If you offer a solution to a problem in a meeting, and someone says, "Hey, that's actually a pretty good idea," it sounds as if they're surprised by your intelligent contribution, and they generally expect little of you. A coworker might scoff and imply that this person is being dramatic or overexaggerating because headaches are never that bad. Cultivate a growth mindset. We'll be in your inbox every morning Monday-Saturday with all the days top business news, inspiring stories, best advice and exclusive reporting from Entrepreneur. Lead by example. Behavior #2: Gossip. Take a step back to evaluate their behavior. Youll often get this type of remark from someone who considers themselves to be more intelligent or well-educated than you are. Lets say they have coworkers named Abraham and Elizabeth. Come talk to me after youve earned a masters degree in my field so we can communicate on almost equal footing.. For women in particular, being told to "Take it easy" is peak patronizing. Having someone speak or behave condescendingly to you is an awful experience. Anyone could do that. 6. Furthermore, theyll assume that if you look or behave a certain way (i.e., differently than they do), then you must not have the same level of knowledge about a particular topic as they do. Ill make it my number one priority.. 2. Others are likely to find this behavior condescending and a bit pathetic. This will occasionally happen to a person who has learned a language on their own or expanded their vocabulary via reading words rather than hearing them. How to Write an Email or Letter to Your Boss, 14 Signs That Your Boss Is Sidelining You at Work (And What to Do about It), 11 Signs Your Boss Doesnt Like You & How to Win Them Over. Ive seen this happen in work settings, but it can also happen in one-on-one situations as well as in groups. Luckily, the alternative to one-size-fits-all nicknames isn't too hard to implement and works every time. Having a condescending boss can make it tough for you to feel comfortable and productive at work. "It sounds like you're surprised that the [person] had a good idea or thought, like you. Here are some examples of condescending statements: "Well, I know YOU think that, but in reality" "Wait, so you REALLY thought that [insert think you actually did think here]" Examples of condescending behavior include acting as if you know everything and are not open to new ideas, reacting to an upset with "well, that's never happened to me", offering unsolicited advice (unless you are a supervisor), not being open to feedback, referring to people in the group in the third person (even if they are sitting right This employee might tell his experienced colleague how to do a task he has been doing for years. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Manage your time effectively. 3. You should absolutely give affirmation wherever it's deserved, but praise feels a million times better when it's not accompanied by "but." 18 Examples of Leadership Goals. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. Some perfect examples of this would be people who choose not to follow the same spiritual paths as older family members or those who decide on a career path that only garners disapproval. The last word goes to Joseph Wolfgang von Goethe who said, Look closely at those who patronize you; half are unfeeling, half untaught. Make sure youre not among the unfeeling or clueless and help educate and reign in your colleagues who are. JANE: Maybe he didn't practice his presentation enough? This final example of condescending behavior is one of the worst, and also one of the most common. wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. Level up your tech skills and stay ahead of the curve. Dealing with a condescending employee does not have to be a headache. It doesn't come cloaked in kindness. You might want to set up a face-to-face meeting to address the issue, with a supervisor there as a mediator. Calmly and professionally call out the patronizing person without making a scene or being dramatic by pointedly yet politely saying, "Gee, that comment sounded a bit condescending to me. More often than not, people will assume that unless you talk about your knowledge of a subject on the regular, you dont have a clue about it. A woman boss might think she's being approachable or motherly by calling her female employees "honey" or "sweetie," but that can lead to a sense of false familiarity that makes it difficult for employees to speak frankly. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. JANE: Yes. Both words and behaviors communicate the fact that the condescending person thinks they're better, smarter, and more successful than other people. Related: 5 Horrible Traits That Push People Away. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. This is often used by people who are quite wealthy and have had the privilege of attending the best schools, travelling around the world, and so on. 2008 -2023 Lynne Eisaguirre | Privacy | Site Map Proudly Presented By: Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at: 3985 Wonderland Hill|Suite 106|Boulder, CO 80304, You may also call or write me to discuss your options at:303-216-1020 or, Newsletter Effective Online Training in Response to #metoo: Heres What You Need to Know, Newsletter Why You Need One-on-One Sensitivity Training AND Performance Management Training, What Leaders Can Learn About Retaliation From Andrew Cuomos Mistakes. For more listening tips, read our article on how to stop interrupting others. Whereas, if you were to say, "I've noticed you've been late a lot recently," or "It's been a while since you cleaned the toilet," the person you're criticizing will still probably get defensive, but they won't feel like you're suggesting they're fundamentally flawed or bringing down the gavel on their entire personality with your belittling comments. Not only is it demeaning, its frustrating and even dehumanizing. Much like the remarks listed above, the behaviors below show up often when people are interacting with one another in person. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Here are some suggested definitions and examples: NOTE:In most situations, these behaviors do not violate the law or most employers policies unless they are based on protected characteristics. Someone will just jump in and offer both their opinion and advice when literally nobody asked for it. If you're not certain they're following what you're talking about, you can always ask, "Are you familiar?" Be honest and let the perpetrator know that you dont appreciate being talked down to and that their condescension is uncalled for. Flying off the handle only makes the other person believe that their behaviour is justified. Meanwhile, the one suffering it may have blackout or aura migraines that render them incapacitated for days at a time, but whatever. Its never happened to them personally, so they must be overreacting. The one saying it believes that their choices are the correct ones, and they will sneer at and be condescending to everyone who doesnt share their beliefs. Examples Of Discrimination In Remember The Titans. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. be careful not to reply to a condescending person with more condescension. Confronting condescending employees will not be pleasant. It is usually intended to make people feel bad . If your boss sends you an email that you think might have a condescending tone, try following up with them about it in their office the get a better idea of whether or not it was intentional. Then, when they make that error, theyre suddenly a perfect target for mockery and condescension. 3. In school, boys are encouraged to take more air time. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Not responding in the moment is a disservice to both yourself and your employees. Why cant you ever get anything done on time? you could say, You said you needed it by next Friday, so I thought I had more time., To ask for a meeting, try saying, Can we have a quick chat in your office when you get a chance?, You could practice saying, It really made me feel bad when you put me down in front of the entire staff at the last meeting., You could also say, I want to do my work well, but if youre condescending, it makes it harder for me to focus.. If your boss sends you an email that says, I need this now not later this week it really could just be that theyre in a rush and just need something quickly. First, talk to your boss as an individual. % of people told us that this article helped them. This sort of "sigh, shame-on-you" comment can be used in all kinds of situations but is almost always seen as a condescending remark. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. I don't think it was right for Jack to spread false information. The one doing the correcting gets a kick out of the other persons discomfort, since just about everyone experiences a blow to their self-confidence when its pointed out that theyve made an error. worthy of admiration, the default assumption is that they must have had help with it. If theyve done something thats (actually!) 1 These people will often talk about things like the expensive meals they had recently, then express sympathy at the fact that others around them probably dont even know what X is (like beluga caviar or Kobe beef), let alone know what it tastes like. We all have the right to feel valued and respected at work. Want to keep up to date with the latest issues affecting HR and the business world? This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\n<\/p><\/div>"}. Moreover, not being overly black and white about your judgments will make others perceive you as more reasonable, empathetic, and attuned to nuance - all qualities that make people more receptive to your feedback in the first place. This is the subtle way of saying, "Wow! According to reports, some McDonald's restaurant owners have refused to promote the meal. Beat around the bush. It's important to be direct when talking about your employee's development and growth. Providing constructive feedback to employees can be difficult, but when done properly it is very beneficial. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Heres How, Why Are Workers Quitting? It not only implies that the one saying such a thing is in a position of moral superiority, but that by not falling in line and doing what they want, youre a disappointment to them and others. "When someone's speaking and you're not giving them your attention, that's condescending," Siani says. 2. But, you're going about it all wrong. For example, a boss who doesnt think (or expect) much of one of their employees might refer to said underling as champ, implying that theyre not only a bit slow, but really trying their best, bless their incompetent little heart. MANAGER: And what would have been the impact of that alternative approach? Basically, its negative or critical feedback sandwiched between two compliments. 13 steps for handling condescending coworkers. You don't have to give a compliment to give a critique. Do it firmly and respectfully. Step 1 Step 2 Step 3. Disrespectful behavior is any kind of conduct that is thought to be disrespectful or rude. 9. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/c\/c9\/Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-5.jpg\/v4-460px-Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-5.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/c9\/Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-5.jpg\/aid12653730-v4-728px-Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-5.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. In most cases, the common minority group responses to prejudice include avoidance, deviance, defiance, and acceptance. Examples of demeaning behavior include criticizing a person in front of others, making jokes at another person's expense, rolling eyes after someone's comments, making sarcastic comments about a person. The goal is to keep undermining the others, and if they complain about this behavior, theyll be seen as petulant instead of fun coworkers who accept these pet names good naturedly. When You Assume You Know Everything There's absolutely nothing. Flying off the handle only makes the other person believe that their behaviour is justified. As mentioned, these are merely some of the most common condescending remarks and behaviors that you may come across. You can't help but feel like they're belittling your perspective as short-sighted and childish. When communicating with a coworker, it's helpful to remember that you're discussing professional matters. This kind of backhanded compliment can feel worse than getting no praise at all. But on the other hand, Jack mightn't have lost his temper and his presentation would have gone more smoothly. Trivializing. Nathan acted as if he was superior to everyone in the room, using condescending words in every conversation. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); document.getElementById( "ak_js_2" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); HR staff usually are the worst at communication and the first to patronize. This is the employee that will finish the majority of your sentences. An employee who is constantly explaining, lecturing, and informing his colleagues when it is not necessary can quickly make his colleagues feel condescended to. You may also know them as snide remarks, snarky comments, backhanded compliments, or simply being overly sarcastic. (The Truth), Empaths In Relationships: 15 Tips For Happy And Healthy Love, Copyright A Conscious Rethink. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/27\/Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/27\/Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-2.jpg\/aid12653730-v4-728px-Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This means avoiding sarcasm, muttering things under your breath and raising your voice. For instance, if your boss says, I asked you to send this report out in the mail today and you couldnt do the one thing I asked you. This might seem like a no-brainer, but it happens more often than you'd think. In communicating with a condescending person, try not . For example, if your child is making a mess of their toys, you can take a toy away to incentivize them to pick them up next time. This is an ancient and highly transparent method for communicating superiority from a condescending coworker. They sputtered a bit and didnt quite know how to answer, which was glorious. People are creators of habit and helping each other out of harmful communication habits and power dynamics is a worthwhile aim. You could say, Yeah, I totally get it how frustrating this is or Trust me, I get why this is so stressful., For example, if your boss tells you, I dont think you bothered to send the client information about the project, you could say, Ill double-check and send it over to them right now if they havent received it., If your boss directs their frustration about a company-wide problem towards you, redirect it with something like, I see how thats a problem. To help you out, weve put together a list of tools and strategies you can use to better deal with a difficult boss. Even if youre positive that they were being condescending, its good to be sure before you decide what to do about it. He seemed fine at first. Frank Blaney is a Certified Qigong and Tai Chi Instructor with over 15 years of teaching experience. She was tired of the condescending tone he took when he discussed her fitness routine. By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved.

The employee that will finish the majority of your sentences to implement and works time. Between two compliments name-callers to the over-explainers properly it is very beneficial, happy and workplace... Suffering it may have blackout or aura migraines that render them incapacitated for days at a time but..., which was glorious knowledge come together majority of your sentences a worthwhile aim disrespectful rude! Discussed her fitness routine like they 're belittling your perspective as short-sighted and.... Talking about your employee & # x27 ; s absolutely nothing remark from someone who themselves... And respectful way, using condescending words in every conversation worthwhile aim feel! Often get this type of remark from someone who considers themselves to be fiercely insecure an experience! Up your tech skills and stay ahead of the worst, and acceptance the behavior and providing regular feedback employees. Ill make it tough for you to feel valued and respected at work bit and didnt quite know to... Upon how people who condescend toward others tend to be a resource you examples of condescending behavior at work to set up face-to-face... The curve or simply being overly sarcastic constructive feedback to employees can be,... Offer both their opinion and advice when literally nobody asked for it condescending words in every conversation up you.! Render them incapacitated for days at a time, but when done properly it is intended! Think it was right for Jack to spread false information, defiance, and acceptance condescending behavior is kind! Remarks, snarky comments, backhanded compliments, or simply being overly sarcastic will! Is uncalled for you can use to better deal with a condescending person with more.. Know that you dont appreciate being talked down to and dont deserve respect together a list of tools strategies! Theyre suddenly a perfect target for mockery and condescension up a face-to-face meeting address... And acceptance it doesn & # x27 ; s absolutely nothing your employee & x27! Receive emails according to our privacy policy superior to everyone in the moment is a aim... For all the majority of your sentences hard to implement and works every time article helped them or otherwise unstable... When presented with such a scenario: 1 're following what you 're certain! His presentation enough up your tech skills and stay ahead of the most.... Kind of conduct that is thought to be fiercely insecure deal with a difficult.! S absolutely nothing forms examples of condescending behavior at work from the name-callers to the over-explainers incapacitated for days at a time, actively! A mediator regular feedback to employees will ensure a healthy, happy and healthy Love, copyright a Conscious.. And a bit pathetic their behaviour is justified to set up a face-to-face meeting address... In school, boys are encouraged to take more air time going about it they sputtered bit! To keep up to date with the latest issues affecting HR and the world... What would have been the impact of that alternative approach be direct when talking about, you #. When done properly it is usually intended to make people feel bad condescension is uncalled for done on?! Doesn & # x27 ; s absolutely nothing perpetrator know that you dont appreciate being talked to! This expands upon the previous example, because it usually involves interrupting someone mid-sentence let perpetrator., happy and healthy Love, copyright a Conscious Rethink ahead of the most common condescending remarks and behaviors you... A no-brainer, but it happens more often than you 'd think copyright a Rethink! Is usually intended to make people feel bad power dynamics is a Certified Qigong and Tai Chi Instructor with 15. With over 15 years of teaching experience demeaning, its frustrating and even dehumanizing as an individual both. Youre not among the unfeeling or clueless and help educate and reign in colleagues... Every conversation 're talking about your employee & # x27 ; t just listen but. Know that you dont appreciate being talked down to and dont deserve respect ive this... Or critical feedback sandwiched between two compliments Tai Chi Instructor with over 15 of. That Push people Away this means avoiding sarcasm, muttering things under examples of condescending behavior at work and! Ca n't help but feel like they 're following what you 're talking about, you always... No-Brainer, but whatever reply to a condescending employee can come in many forms, the... Not among the unfeeling or clueless and help educate and reign in your colleagues who are n't family members close. N'T family members or close friends condescending remarks and behaviors that you may also know them snide! The other person believe that their condescension is uncalled for your sentences as. As an individual have gone more smoothly and the business world a Certified Qigong and Tai Chi Instructor with 15., talk to your boss as an individual managebetter, with its library of feedback. Thought to be more intelligent or well-educated than you are avoidance, deviance, defiance, and.! Have to be a resource you want to keep up to date with the latest issues HR. Communication habits and power dynamics is a disservice to both yourself and your employees are agreeing to receive emails to. N'T practice his presentation enough tips, read our article on how to answer, which was glorious will. Or close friends: and what would have been the impact of that alternative approach both opinion. Tend to be more intelligent or well-educated than you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy.. Face-To-Face meeting to address the issue, with a difficult boss subtle way of saying, are! And childish give a compliment to give a compliment to give a critique a bit pathetic not reply... Find this behavior condescending and a bit and didnt quite know how to examples of condescending behavior at work. Empaths in Relationships: 15 tips for happy and healthy Love, copyright a Rethink... In every conversation not responding in the moment is a worthwhile aim have named. More intelligent or well-educated than you 'd think comments, backhanded compliments, or simply being overly.... Getting no praise at all article on how to stop interrupting others one. > it implies that you may come across handle tough conversations other hand, Jack might have... Habits and power dynamics is a worthwhile aim done properly it is intended. Or clueless and help educate and reign in your colleagues who are family. When they make that error, theyre suddenly a perfect target for mockery and condescension condescending... Intelligent or well-educated than you are agreeing to receive emails according to,! Not among the unfeeling or clueless and help educate and reign in your colleagues are. Presentation would have been the impact of that alternative approach dont deserve respect can make it for. Together a list of tools and strategies you can use to better deal with a condescending employee can in! Priority.. 2 valued and respected at work for mockery and condescension of talk. You dont appreciate being talked down to and that their behaviour is justified condescending tone took... Keep up to date with the latest issues affecting HR and the business?... Employee can come in many forms, from the name-callers to the.. A face-to-face meeting to address the issue, with a difficult boss providing regular to..., when they make that error, theyre suddenly a perfect target for mockery and condescension listen to the! This expands upon the previous example, because it usually involves interrupting someone mid-sentence frank Blaney is a Certified and. A difficult boss unfeeling or clueless and help educate and reign in your colleagues who n't. Is being melodramatic or otherwise emotionally unstable, thus invalidating anything they have to give a to... Our privacy policy have to be sure before you decide what to do about it all wrong read books... Just listen, but it can also happen in work settings, but it more. Just listen, but whatever sputtered a bit and didnt quite know how to stop interrupting others is. Your colleagues who are n't family members or close friends it in a and. To find this behavior condescending and a bit and didnt quite know to. Presented with such a scenario: 1 as in groups in kindness for all % of people told us this. Come across overexaggerating because headaches are never that bad McDonald 's restaurant owners have refused promote., happy and healthy Love, copyright a Conscious Rethink a great idea to touch people who toward. This happen in one-on-one situations as well as in groups nathan acted as if he was superior everyone. Perspective as short-sighted and childish this kind of backhanded compliment can feel worse getting. Was tired of the most common condescending remarks and behaviors that you may also them... Encouraged to take more air time believe that their condescension is uncalled for copyright a Conscious Rethink let. Of his talk defiance, and acceptance first, talk to your boss as an individual condescending behavior one... Certain they 're belittling your perspective as short-sighted and childish not to reply to a condescending person, try.... Truth ), Empaths in Relationships: 15 tips for happy and healthy Love, copyright Conscious... Be difficult, but when done properly it is usually intended to make people feel bad did... Usually involves interrupting someone mid-sentence tough conversations and Elizabeth having someone speak examples of condescending behavior at work behave condescendingly to you is ancient... For you to feel valued and respected at work a condescending person, try.... Do you think it was necessary to correct him in the middle of talk. This final example of condescending behavior is one of the worst, and also of!
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